Church of Zim
by a dog a cat and a dragon
Summary: Zim's new neighbor causes a phenomenon.
1. Gremlins

Church of Zim  
  
-Part One: Gremlins-  
  
It was a fairly normal day. The sun came up. Birds sang. A green puppy ran out of a house, ran in a circle, then ran back inside. A young boy hid in the bushes across the street from said house, looking for a way inside.  
  
He was nearly flattened when an SUV plowed into teh bushes next to him, missing the driveway by several yards.  
  
An old woman, bent with age, got out of the drivers seat. She looked around, her eyes mere slits, before speaking.  
  
"WHAT HAPPENED TO THE HOUSE?"  
  
"It's a few yards to our left, Grandma." another female voice was heard from inside the car. "Where the moving van is parked."  
  
"I DON'T SEE IT!" the old woman shouted.  
  
There was a sigh from the girl. "I'll take you there.  
  
The back door of the car opened and out stepped a young girl. Her glasses gleamed in the early morning sun, and her trench coat flapped aside in the breeze, revealing a red shirt with a neutral smiley face on it. She took her grandmother's arm and led her to the house.  
  
'Wow.' the boy, who was still cowering in the bushes, thought. 'She's dressed exactly like me.'  
  
Despite all the reasons not to, he followed them. The grandmother was now inside, but the girl was standing next to the van, explaining to the movers why the front yard was not the best place to put a bath tub. He watched her for a few moments, until she tired of yelling and turned to face him, jumping a bit at his presence.  
  
"Who are you?" she asked, a bit suspicious.  
  
The boy stared for a few seconds before stuttering out a feeble "Hi."  
  
The girl shook her head. "I guess you're one of our new neighbors. I'm Dat." she extended her hand.  
  
The boy gaped another second before taking her hand and shaking. "I'm Dib... and actually, I live across town."  
  
She dropped her hand rather quickly hearing that. "Then why are you here? It's six in the morning!"  
  
Dib debated wether or not to tell her about his constant surveillance on Zim, but decided against it. But, after realizing that he had no other excuse to be there, he relented.  
  
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." There, that settled it.  
  
"Try me." Dat challenged, becoming a bit braver. "I've had some run ins with things even my grandmother won't believe, and she thinks there were grmlins in our toilet... that's why we moved in the first place."  
  
Dib stared at her a few seconds before, once again, relenting. "The guy who lives across the street is an alien and I'm trying to find a break in his defenses so I can sneak in and prove it to the world."  
  
Dat raised an eyebrow. "Of course he is." she said in a tone that said nothing but 'you're completely off your rocker.'  
  
"It's true!" Dib defended. "See those lawn gnomes? They're robots that shoot lazers!"  
  
Dat stared at him in disbelief for a few seconds before looking at Zims house. Then, she looked at Dib again, then back to the house. "Why is there a men's room sign on the door?" she inquired, a hint of doubt in her voice.  
  
Dib smiled to himself. "He's clueless to how to hact like an earthling. You should see his parents."  
  
As if on cue, Zim's door burst open, and out he walked, his robot parents wheeled closely behind him and Girl tagging along, pausing every now and then to run in a circle. The odd group quickly crossed the street and headed to Dat and Dib, not even noticing when a car swerved to avoid GIR and smashed into a tree. Zim strode right up to Dat and looked her coldly in the eye. Dat's gaze grew even colder then his, and she glared right back at him.  
  
"Hello fellow earth monkey." Zim growled. "May I ask why you are here?"  
  
Dat loooked past him to the robot parents, her eyes slightly slit. "May I ask why your parents have wheels instead of legs?  
  
Zim whirled around and stared at the robots behind him. "GIR! I told you to keep them inside!" he screamed angrily to his 'dog'.  
  
Gir paused mid circle long enough to screal "I'M ALL DIZZY!" before continuing.  
  
Dat glanced over to Dib with a look that clearly said 'is this for real?' Dib nodded.  
  
Zim seemed to be in a fierce argument with his 'parents' before they wheeled backwards, across the street and back into the house, not bothering to open the door before doing so. Zim cringed before turning to Dat once again.  
  
"I ask you again, fellow worm baby, why are you here? And why are you talking to this ball of... of... something nasty!" Zim was in a rage, and thrust a finger at Dib, jabbing him in the stomach and causing him to fall onto the grass.  
  
Dat calmly met Zim's eyes. "My grandmother and I are going to live here, and Dib was kind enough to welcome us."  
  
Zim took a moment to absorb this before posing another question. "Why do you not live where you came from?"  
  
Dat raised an eyebrow, a bit thrown off by the odd manner of speech. "There are no gremlins here."  
  
This time, Zim was a bit put off, and he stalked back to his house, grabbing GIR by the tail and dragging him along. He stepped through the robot-shaped holes that were now in his door, but then opened and slammed the door from the inside, just for effect.  
  
Dat turned to Dib, who had gotten off the ground. "So, that's the real live alien, huh?"  
  
Dib nodded.  
  
Dat smiled at him and put her arm around his shoulders. "Dib, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship."  
  
-End part one-  
  
This was written at 3 in the morning, of course it's odd. I'm sad to say that i have gotten rusty on my Zim-speak due to the lack of play it's getting, so I don't have the best dialogue. You can hate it, you can love it, I really don't care. Just tell me what you think.  
-A Cat 


	2. Mirrors

-Church of Zim-  
  
Thanks for the reveiws i got. again, i apologize for the dialogues. despite what people tell me, i'm having trouble with it. ;.; is it my fault i've only seen the same 4 episodes over and over, and only bits and peices of others? That's the same reason i don't know weather or not D+D's 'plot' has been done before... if it has, then this story takes place before that. And for all those who think this will end up a romance... ::laughes:: you're silly!  
-A Cat  
  
-Part two: Mirrors-  
  
Dib squinted at the diagram that laid before him on Dat's kitchen table. He stole a glance up at her, who was leaning back and smiling contently to herself. He returned to searching for some weak point, some flaw in her plan. Finally, he spotted it and drew an X. He leaned back with renewed triumph, nowing that he couldn't loose.  
  
Instantly, Dat picked up her pencil and drew an O on the diagram, then connected the other 7 to form a chain. "I win." she stated triumphantly.  
  
Dib slamed his fists into the table and looked at the paper. "How can this be? How can I loose? I never loose. There must be some mistake..." his eyes searched frantically before closing in defeat. "Crap, it's sound..."  
  
Dat smirked to him. "I told you a hundred times, no one can beat me in galactic 3D tic-tac-to. I am one of the ones who invented it."  
  
"So you tell me..." Dib still wouldn't stop looking for the flaw in his plan. This was the first time he had lost in over 4 years.  
  
"Don't you think we should get back to the plot?" Dat inquired, a bit worried that her friend was getting a bit obsessive over one measly childrens game. He was begining to sweat and his eyes were bulging out of his head. "Do you want some water or something?"  
  
He shook his head fervently. "No, no, I'll be fine." he forced a smile. "Yes, lets get back to the plot." he went to throw their gameboard away, but quickly folded it up and tucked it into his jacket pocket. He'd go over it in more depth later.  
  
He turned to the wipe-board they had set up in their new base-of-command. He pulled out an old radio antenna and pointed with a flourish to a fleet of tiny dots diagramed out. "As you know, Zim's defence system consists mostly of robot-gnomes, that are placed here here and here." he angrily tapped the board with each 'here.' "I believe that he has set up some traps that are located here here and here." again, he thrusted the antenna into the board. "Plus..."  
  
"Please, Dib, I think you're going to hurt yourself." Dat rolled her eyes. "We've already been over this... about a zillion times. I know it all already."  
  
Dib's eyes narrowed in confusion. "We've been over this before?"  
  
Dat nodded. "We kept on getting off topic, remember? There was the discussion on how to make emus rampage, how exactly Aya's katana can disappear frequently, exactly how Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper could reproduce..." she ticked each one off on her fingers.  
  
Dib turned this information over in his mind, but found he could not remember any of those conversations. He shrugged. "If you say so..."  
  
Dat smiled smuggly. She had just made the whole thing up, but had spent her entire night memorizeing the layout of Zim's front yard, so the diagram was more or less useless. It wasn't entierly acurate either. Gnome Q57T was 3 inches further to the left then it should be. But she kept this information to herself. He was a guy afterall, and she knew how fragile their egos could be.  
  
"I had been trying to go through like this." Dib was explaining, drawing a complex path that looped through all the little dots, ocasionally drawing Xs for were he would jump. "But I always get caught right here." He drew a large circle right in front of the box that represented the front door. "I can't see any other path that could work out nearly as far as that one... What do you think."  
  
Dat mentally shook herself awake and resisted the urge to go 'huh?'She gazed dreamily at that board, that was now more or less entirely black due to Dib's path. She shrugged slightly. "Ever try mirrors?"  
  
Dib looked at her oddly. "Mirrors? What would that do?"  
  
Dat shrugged. "If you had a suit of mirrors, then the gnomes would only see another gnome when looking for an intruder, not you. So it wouldn't have to alert Zim that someone was coming... cuz it wouldn't see anything."  
  
Dib stared at her for a minute. "Dat..."  
  
"Yeah Dib?"  
  
"You're a genius."  
  
~~~i'm sad. i drew an irkin head, but ff.net took all the spaces out so it was just a bunch of symbols ;.;~~~  
  
  
The full moon shoe eerily in the night sky. What appeared to be a tumble weed, but was actually a ball of barbed wire, was blown across a street. What appeared to be a cardboard box with mirrors on it slid in the other direction, towards Zim's house.  
  
Dat feared that her heart was about to jump up into her throat as she placed each step carefully across the lawn. She had promised Dib that she would wait for him to try the mirror idea, but it was too tempting to ignore. She had to know now.  
  
To her relief, she reached the front door with no incident. She waited a few more minutes before turning and rushing back across the street. She had to alert the others. They had found him...  
  
~~~meh, to lazy to do another drawing~~~  
  
The sun was just rising when Zim was jarred awake by his computers voice, alerting him of an intruder... or, several hundred.  
  
"What?" Zim said in complete disbelief. "How could this have happened? Why was I not warned?"  
  
He was quickly informed that they had all just been detected.  
  
"GRRR!" Zim screamed that the computer before making his way back upstairs.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Dib made his way quickly to Dat's house. He hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, anxious about how well their plan might work. He came prepared for anything; lazers, water balloons, tacks that make him turn into bologna...  
  
What he wasn't prepared to see was a large group of people, ranging from 5 to 55, all with their own mirror covered box.  
  
He also didn't expect them to all be wearing shirts with the Irkin symbol on it.  
  
Or for some of them to have stuffed robots that looked extremely like GIR.  
  
Or for them to all be chanting "All Hail Zim! All Hail Zim!" at the top of their lungs.  
  
But what really threw him for a loop was that, in the middle of it all stood Dat, dressed like Zim, holding a megaphone, and leading the chant.  
  
-End Part two-  
  
Review. tell me what you think. I'll let you name a random cult member if you do! (just put it in the review... but if you just give me a name and no comments, no deal)  
-A Cat 


End file.
